There but for the grace of god we go

After a week of wonderful visits, delicious foods and presents from half the western world, we're in a post-holiday coma.

Unsurprisingly, something I struggled with this year was holiday excess. Not simply the mass-marketing excess of an over-commercialized society. Or the 'be a good citizen and buy' excess of a consumer-buoyed economy. No, this year, I was overwhelmed by all the privileged excess bestowed on a middle class toddler on the Most Wonderful Day of the Year.

It brought me to my knees. This year, in all respects, I assumed the role of the Ungrateful Cow obsessed with the moral upbringing of my child...

No child needs to be so lucky...
No child should given everything they could ever want...
No child needs every amazing age-appropriate toy in existence...
No child should be so spoiled by so many amazing things...
No child needs this much stuff!!!

On reflection, my feelings were precipitated by two recent events: The Santa Visit and The Story of the Mother in Need.

The Santa Visit happened on Waterloo's annual Santa train ride. As we rode the rails to St. Jacob's market, Santa asked The Toddling Pea what she wanted for the holidays. She stated, matter of factly, that she wanted cake.

"Sanna, I whan cake."

And Santa, who was a little taken aback, pushed her to name a toy. Sanna, she told him, I whan a yummy toy. And what toy would that be, sweetheart? Cake, she replied.

All she wanted was cake and I was cool with that. Give the child her cake!

A week later, I heard The Story of the Mother in Need. A woman stopped in to the pharmacy to buy odds and ends for a young mother who had nothing. The mother, the woman told me, had recently escaped an abusive partner with her two young children only to find out she was pregnant again. The family was in a local women's shelter and had nothing.

I thought of my toddler who is totally untraumatized by abuse or instability and who has a warm coat and a huge loving family and a bed and food and a home. And I just felt lucky.

When the holidays came and that same toddler, who already has everything she could ever want, was given so much more I was a little sad. What is enough? How will she know what 'enough' means? I looked at all her beautiful toys, both old and new, and I picked some out for the local shelter. Our local shelter gives stuffed animals to newly displaced children and a present to each child on their birthday. I thought of the family in the shelter and I chose one of the nicest toys given to The Toddling Pea, still wrapped in plastic.

On the one hand, it seems ungrateful to give away a toy that is lovingly picked out for my child by someone who really wants her to have it. On the other hand, a lovingly picked out toy is the perfect toy for a child who has nothing.

As we approach the new year and plan for a new baby, my hope is that when our children are old enough they remember to celebrate the holidays by sharing their excesses with kinder-colleagues who have nothing.

There but for the grace of God...

Photo by Dead Air.

Tis the Season of Stuff

How do you celebrate the holidays in your home? Having lived so many years in a small apartment we're attached to not being attached to stuff. We bought a small home so we wouldn't have room for stuff (or have need of stuff) and our purchases thus far have been essentials for seating and eating.

We made it through one toddler birthday relatively unscathed (thank heavens for clothing and hand-me-down toy gifts!) Now, as we face our first holiday season as people-with-more-than-one-bedroom, there's an impending claustrophobia. There's a Grinch-like pile of stuff is teetering on the top of Mount Crumpet, waiting to crash into our lives and spill out of our toy boxes.

I wasn't always so obsessed with stuff but the more I lived without, the better I felt. The less I had, the more I enjoyed the few things I actually purchased. With a toddler who burns through activities and clothes faster than a bag of goldfish crackers, it's gotten harder and harder to manage the serenity of a minimalist life.

In search of a holiday lifeline, we stumbled on some good ideas for minimal holidays that aren't too stark or Scrooge-y. Here's what we're trying out to see if we can manage the mess.

1. We are borrowing holiday books from the local library for FREE. Our favourites have been Merry Christmas Strega Nona by Tomie dePaola, a book about an old Italian witch who has to make a Natale feast for the village, and Three French Hens by Margie Palatini, which follows three french chickens from Paris as they befriend a poor fox in the Bronx.
2. This year we'll be following advice from the lovely Design Mom for Santa to bring something to wear, something to read and something to play with. And no extra gifts from mom and dad.
3. We're doing instead of buying. The Husband is big on holiday memories so we'll be cutting our own tree, baking our own cookies and dancing to our own christmas musical stylings on the piano.

I'm not sure if this will all work out as planned but my hopes are high. I would love it if you would leave a comment sharing your holiday traditions and ideas for cutting the stuff out of the holidays.

Photo from FeDe.